The Email Jacker

The Email Jacker

email-jacker.jpg

Every now and then I get an email from some agency asking if I accept blogs for the site. It’s a spammy way for someone to get a free link. In return, I, the time poor blog owner, get some amazing and highly relevant article to wow my readers. 99% of these emails are instantly binned. But when ‘Robert Ford’ sent me an email addressed with the correct name and site name, something made me think that it could be the start of something beautiful (or at least mildly amusing).

Hi Daniel,

I hope you're well. I found simplelampoon.com while searching Google for Personal Finance blogs and I'm writing to you to express my interest in writing an article to feature on your site.

I was thinking something along the lines of "How to Get Cheaper Car Insurance". The article would focus on the key factors behind why car insurance policies can be so high and what measures you can take to make them cheaper.

The article would be written on behalf of Warrantywise but would be completely non-promotional. You can find out more about them at their website (link removed, mostly for irony)

Is this something you would be interested in discussing?

Kind Regards,

Robert Ford

 FYI I have concluded that Robert has found my blog due to the mention of ‘personal financial gain’ in the altogether ridiculous blog post ‘How to use Bernards Watch for personal financial gain’. I was not really interested, but I sent back an email just to be polite. At this point I didn't envision the whole thing becoming a blog post.

Hi Robert,

Thanks for the email. Content not relevant I'm afraid.

Cheers for now.

Dan

I thought that would be the end of it. But it wasn't...

Hi Dan,

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly, sorry to hear that.

Are there any other article concepts that you'd like to see written that we might be able to help with?

Thanks in advance,

Rob

I'm starting to like this guy, I tell you what Rob, there are a few ideas that I think you might be able to help with!

Hi Rob,

Thanks for the email. I've got a few concepts that you might like to consider. Please take a read of the following and let me know if your client would be interested.

The Great British Burger Cheese Rainbow

The concept of this blog is to purchase economy burger cheese from each of the major supermarkets (Asda, Tesco, Morrisons) and perhaps some of the outlying players (Iceland, Aldi etc). These cheeses will then be compared to their respective yellows on a dulux colour chart in the name of journalism.

There may also be a taste test associated with this blog post although the main draw for the audience is the colour comparison of course.

Selfless selfies

The art of asking a stranger to take your photograph is almost dead. We would launch a resurrection of this experience by comparing pictures taken with a selfie stick against those taken by a stranger (in the same locations) to prove that selfie sticks are useless and should be used instead to make contemporary sculptures depicting the current state of society.

I think you'll agree, that the content is highly engaging and relevant as well as providing a great opportunity across social networks.

Please let me know what you think.

Kindest regards,

Dan

Pretty happy with that response, some solid ideas. Real solid. Now I just wait to soak up the praise...

Hi Daniel,

Thanks for the opportunity, but these topics wouldn't be relevant for our client.

Kind regards,

Robert Ford

What's going on Rob, I thought this was the start of something beautiful. Are you a quitter? I'm not a quitter and I wasn't about to let Rob give up on his dream of having a warranty based blog hosted on an irreverent local news site. So I replied.

Hi Robert,

Thanks for your email. That's a shame, I thought your client would be well on-board with those.

In light of the industry of your client (personal finance) I have repurposed some of the ideas below for which I am confident your client will provide sign off.

(I have highlighted changes to the initial ideas in blue)

Saving Money on your Car Insurance with the Great British Burger Cheese Rainbow

The concept of this blog is to purchase economy burger cheese from each of the major supermarkets (Asda, Tesco, Morrisons) that you travel to in your car. You have just bagged yourself such a great deal on your car insurance that you could even spare the petrol to visit some of the outlying players (Iceland, Aldi etc). Once you have collected the cheeses they will then be compared to their respective yellows on a dulux colour chart in the name of journalism. As you compare them, you should also browse the internet for car insurance, and then purchase a policy.

There may also be a taste test associated with this blog post although the main draw for the audience is the colour comparison of course and the excellent advice on car insurance.

Selfless selfies with Quentin Wilson, friend of Warrantywise

The art of asking a stranger to take your photograph is almost dead, like you would be dead if you failed to get that suspension rod fixed from the excellent people at Warrantywise. We would launch a resurrection of this experience by comparing pictures taken with a selfie stick against those taken by a stranger (in the same locations) with popular UK television figure Quentin Wilson to prove that selfie sticks are useless and should be used instead to make contemporary sculptures depicting the current state of society.

Again, I think you'll agree, that the content is highly engaging and relevant as well as providing a great opportunity across social networks with the potential to reach a huge audience.

Please let me know what you think.

Kindest regards,

Dan

 I'm still awaiting a response, but look forward to taking one of these blog ideas further.

San Carlo: Lunch with Aldo Zilli

San Carlo: Lunch with Aldo Zilli

Introducing: Bingo Wings

Introducing: Bingo Wings