I Admit It - I Tweeted for Money, Am I a Bad Person?
I sold out. I misled some of you lovely people reading this very post. It was a misuse of trust and I understand if you never want to tweet me again. I just want to say, in my defence, not that I have any justification, but I made enough money to buy at least 4 Cornettos. Not even in a multipack. Serious reddies. And you probably didn’t even see the tweet. Did you? To be honest, I almost didn't see it. It was scheduled using twitter black magic – and the company I tweeted on behalf of let me pick from a set schedule which was nice. Obviously minimising the potential of anyone seeing the tweet I opted for the latest spot of 11.45pm.
And here it is. Stunning isn't it?
The sum of my payment, a whopping £10 paid straight into my bank account.
The tweet remained on my timeline for 72 hours as per the terms and conditions of my seedy arrangement, and reached a respectable total of 71 clicks. That equates to a staggering average rate of nearly 1 an hour.
To break that down further for you, imagine you had a watch (unlikely right) and you checked it every hour for 3 days… but (and there is always a but), you missed out checking once because you were in a supermarket and had to make small talk with one of your old teachers who also happened to be browsing the world food isle. Imagine that. So there we have it - 71.
I thought £10 was rather flattering. Some “celebs” on Channel 4’s Dispatches were getting lambasted for tweeting in return for £150 (so I’m 1/15 of a z list celebrity right?). I don’t really feel like being lambasted, not in my nice work trousers. I think £10 probably deserves the same level of discomfort as accidentally claiming someone else’s pub meal who ordered before you. Then eating it as they look on dejected and silently judging. Go on, offer them an onion ring, they won’t take it. A chip, yes fine they’ll take a chip; who wouldn't. But not a crispy battered ring of shame.
So I can quit my job and live off tweeting?
Not exactly. That tweet was the only ‘campaign’ that has landed in my inbox. I have no further jobs on the horizon. Maybe 71 tweets wasn't a good enough return. Maybe I didn't convert enough. Hold on, maybe YOU didn't convert enough. This is all your fault! Why didn't you click it?! Oh, right. You didn't see it.
Am I a bad person?
Well, how can I be bad when I made £10!
I promise I won’t do any more. I've made my money – which I am donating to a charity of your choice. First person to leave a charity link in the comment box and tweet me the with the hashtag "#IForgiveYourActOfGreed" will receive my £10 shame money. For reals.
UPDATE: ***Money has already been donated. It lasted all of 5 minutes** Thanks for reading!
Here's my Twitter: @simplelampoon
Main image: Image_Money